She will assume you're angry, act accordingly
The messy world of ditching a frigid wife until she isn't.
Life isn’t a book, a narrative, or a script. When writing both Dread and Frame, I often had to alter the field reports slightly. The content was there, but sometimes it made more sense to put reports months apart together so they were able to tell a coherent story and illustrate the appropriate mental model. In real life, these situations are messy, with multiple events happening concurrently.
It’s one of the reasons why, when you read through them, that the guys seem to make so many silly mistakes that seem obvious in hindsight. It’s not because guys are stupid or deluded or that you’re much better, it’s because they are learning a hundred things all at once and in any given interaction you’ll be getting a pop quiz on 5 selected at random.
It’s a bit much, at least before you’ve understood everything and built your frame. In this set of examples, two men, both dealing with sexual rejection and basic boundary enforcement.
The puzzle is: what do you do when your wife shuts you down sexually?
The basic strategy is to ensure you have better things to do with your time and go to where the most value is. If it’s sex, then it’s sex. If it’s not sex then go there. The thing is this creates a bit of a frame test for men. In Practical Female Psychology by David Claire, he talks about Magic Pussy Syndrome, which is exactly what it sounds like. When a woman rejects you she automatically assumes you’ll be angry at best, and violent at worst? Is it because women handle rejection that way and assume everyone else does? Is it because men are violent apes?
Who cares. I know it happens which is as far as I’m concerned with. Guys are adamant about hiding their anger. This is partially because the gynocentric social order (modern social norms) treat anger as a shameful emotion, and partially because guys are learning to use their emotional state productively, unlike women who use it to process the outside world. So one side has guys who are sexually rejected and attempting to build the kind of outcome independence where that doesn’t piss them off, and women who automatically assume their pussies have the power to send the man into a rage.
To put it bluntly, she will assume you’re butthurt, so don’t let her accusing you of anger affect your actions. In the same way the next report will have the dudes wife immediately accuse him of infidelity and throw out an STD shit test, women will test any signs of sexual desire because they don’t know if they are real or not.
These are called shit tests, or fitness tests. Women will act unhinged, bratty, petulant etc. They do this because the behaviors that they are attracted to, behaviors like:
Aloofness
Pre-selection
Controlled violence
Etc
Women have many false positives. Their evolved strategy involves acting to provoke the men who aren’t desirable into acting out. If a guy isn’t phased, then the signals are real. It’s all subconscious so there’s no point talking about this and communicating more. Accept that your woman will be a woman. She will be catty, petulant, bratty, and assume you are angry or butthurt whenever she does anything. She needs to believe in that fantasy, her Magic Pussy Syndrome is in full bloom.
Before moving onto false main events, I want to point out why this is important. I write about the dancing monkey improvement programme, where men waste years as a covert contract: if I do all the things from the red pill my wife will act right and we will have a problem free life! Then their wife acts out of pocket one day and they realize they have been wasting everyone’s time. If you’re the kind of man who looks at your sexual frequency or how stable your wife’s emotions are or how many accusations of anger you are given in a week or if she tells you that you’re being a great man then you’re going to look back in a year or two as a waste.
Also, if she’s going to think you’re butthurt regardless of whether you are, don’t worry about feeling like an asshole or not. She will think what she thinks and you can’t control that so you may as well do what you like.
Stop looking at your wife like the measuring stick. How she reacts is not an indicator of your success. You are learning skills to navigate the sexual environment of a single or taken man. You set your success metrics and at best she will be the lagging indicator. The moment you make any of this about her is the moment you change your goal from being more fuckable, to fucking your wife. Instead of making yourself learn the skills to get what you want out of life, you make yourself into a validation seeking junkie, except for this time with a great workout program. Now, about main events.
The main event, if you’ve not heard about it, is the mother of all comfort tests. A paradigm shift in a relationship where a woman realizes she has lost the power dynamic in her relationship and is scrambling to hold onto her hypergamous best option. It’s all about perception. Some women have no power but have the deluded sense that they do. This causes marriages to blow up when the husband has his shit together and develops some better options while the wife doesn’t budge and he leaves.
The few truisms about the main event that I’ve seen over the years are:
If you think you’re having it, then you aren’t
If there aren’t snot bubbles and hysteria, it’s not a main event
With rare exception, by the time you’re having one, you won’t need help in getting past it.
I will keep repeating this in the hopes that you have suspected you’re having one in your own life and act like an idiot. Every single Main Event has them, and by trying to predict whether you’re having one, you actually predict whether you’re doing this all ‘for her’ or not. Revisit your action plan if you feel the need to predict events.
So here are two field reports. One is from a member who I don’t talk about often, the other is from theUltmateCad, whom I do. When you’re reading this you may think it’s manipulative party games to make their wife’s fearful and want to fuck more. Clear your head of such nonsense. Men who don’t give a fuck, do what they want, and aren’t controllable are attractive. A woman’s sex drive is reactive. What you’re seeing is a man sliding into the shoes of the kind of asshole who fucks around, and a woman who is responding to it. Before I start, I’ll get some science out of the way.
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