Two field reports, both have a similar theme: guilt and validation. The lessons are there in two small things. In one example the man misses his dad and uses the tools his father passed to him in order to build cabinets. His wife is dismissive until she notices that she benefits, then she cares. The second example is a man who is missing workouts so he punishes himself and ultimately sabotages his progress because of his guilt/catholic confessional mental model. In both cases the feelings of inadequacy and resentment can be avoided with two simple ideas: understanding solipsism and focus on the goals and not identity.
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I could talk about fitness, nutrition, Testosterone replacement therapy, making money and the 7 tips and tricks that can seduce a woman, Today! It’s boring and derivative. All of it is rehashed platitudes with a different AI generated voice to mask the south east Asian accent.
Six pack abs, six figure salary, Drink water and be 6 feet tall. Number 3 will surprise you!
Instead, I have a few simple examples of how looking at your woman as a source of positive reinforcement (read: validation seeking) and guilt over your expectations of perfection (read: positive identity) hold you back. Everyone loves to think it’s the grand gesture, the big meeting, the lottery win. It’s really the small and simple things, iterated competently along with their compounded effects.
Finally, out on Audiobook! Get Dread and Frame together for the full Red Pill
Nice chisel, loser!
I had an epiphany today. My grandfather and my dad instilled in my brother and I life skills such as carpentry and general home improvement. I can never thank him enough for that.
Dad passed in 2008 and the lion's share of his tools went to me. I spent my youth respecting his craftsman cast iron table saw, it was a heavy powerful beast who could take your fingers off in an instant. They don't make them like that anymore. When I moved in with my wife, naturally her furniture was better than my shitty bachelor stuff. She wanted me to get rid of all my tools as I was moving into a condo with her. I had oneitis bad and was eager to please. I would do whatever she wanted but I said, "When I get there, I'll go through them and downsize most of them." Unfortunately, I decided to take the cast iron table saw to the scrap yard, it was just too much to move and I barely used it. I got my $27 from the scrap and was almost in tears because that table saw represented my dad and the years of projects he and I did on that thing.
Present day as we expect our first child, a boy, and are in the process of improving our new home. Fuck that is my action plan -- All my tools will stay and I will teach that kid how to respect and use every single one of them. My wife is utterly shocked at what I'm doing with the house, she had no clue I was this handy. I take great joy in showing my father-in-law basic carpentry as we update our kitchen cabinets.
Anyway, when I showed a little bit of progress on stuff, she was like 'meh, big deal' we can hire someone. Now that the cabinets are 90% finished, she's really excited. She wants me to redo the bathroom ones. I think if I understand it right, Briffault's Law in effect here.
Women can’t be positive reinforcement because they just don’t care. They aren’t bad, they just aren’t wired except to filter the world through self-preservation. It’s solipsism, stupid! You’ve likely heard the term before and interpreted it to mean that women are selfish and Machiavellian, but it’s not. It doesn’t help matters much that every fear mongering asshole with a YouTube and a Twitter account loves to stoke those fears, partially because an emotional man is a man that can be sold to, partially as a self therapy soothe.
The link is an after-action report from one of those ‘debates’ from Susan at
