When I was in Basic Training for the Royal Canadian Navy I got yelled at, a lot. Everyone did. It had a purpose, to teach us to ignore volume and focus on the commands. In the same way, Frame is about focusing on content while ignoring tone. Most can’t do this.
Frame
Guys get the concept of frame all wrong. Frame isn’t something you hold or you don’t. It’s not a metered quality that can be used up. It’s not anything that can be taken from you. Frame is something you have or don’t. Frame is your world view and your reality and how you react or choose not to. Everything that doesn’t in your reality is funny, amusing, or irrelevant.
And men without Frame aren’t worth your time.
I have an example from an old field report. This one is short. The best ones are. Short field reports from men with Frame will have only the important details in them. Focus on what matters, a resolution, and a mental model to attach to it. New field reports are a meandering mess of brand new men narrating every detail of their life (except the unflattering details that experienced guys know should be there) without hierarchy, reflection, or coherence.
Field Report: Chad, Shutting Shit down
I’m on the island with my wife. Her sister’s laptop runs a lot slower than hers - even though her sister’s laptop is newer. I’m pretty good with computers so I start explaining possible causes why. “The reason why your computer is faster is because it has 8gigs of ram and a solid state.”
“Oooo, 8 gigs.”
In a half joking/half mocking tone. It’s one of those subtle things where it’s obvious that what I’m saying isn’t being taken the way I want it to.
“Ok. No more advice then. You lost your opportunity.”
She obviously wants to know more but she lost her opportunity. So now her sister’s laptop is going to continue running slower while I bring her laptop back to the states. That means she’s going to be stuck with her problem.
I’m not going to go and give advice about simple solutions when that advice isn’t taken or appreciated in the manner I expect. Really simple stuff. Doing otherwise would be rewarding bad behavior.
I finished giving the advice 15 minutes later at lunch.
Note: you can see the old PUA in this one. Plenty of displays of higher value peppered in so subtly you don’t even notice, except that you do.
Now it’s a guy I know with the strongest Frame I’ve seen in the Red Pill. He’s been around longer than me and done a lot more than I. Of course none of that matters because, ironically, everyone argued about his advice in the same way that his wife was doing. He should have been more patient. He should have explained it in a way she was receptive to. He shouldn’t have been so butthurt on vacation.
Notice a lot of should’s. they are arguing the ought’s, instead of the is. Eventually one of the moderators came in to clarify the subtext and nuance that everyone keeps yapping about.
The biggest thing guys are missing is that the entire thing is on his terms. He can not get the concept that she can possibly view anything that happened in any other way then how HE chose to view it.
So how can you quickly tell when a man has no frame? He will have no sense of his personality reality. Because instead of being dismissive of anything that doesn’t match his reality - he will instead feel the need to peacock and dick measure to soothe his ego.
Men with no Frame would have changed everything, ruined the vacation, had temper tantrums or god knows how many other piss poor behaviors that I’ve laid out in here over the years. This space is amoral, and this is precisely why. The ought’s keep getting in the way of being effective.
But what about the laptop? You ask.
The laptop didn’t exist 15 minutes ago. Wife dumped this on his lap and then proceeded to subtly belittle him while he dealt with it. Fuck that. He was happy before, he is happy now, and wife doesn’t get to change his state because she wants him to fix her problems, along with dealing with her shit.
And they are on vacation. In a vacuum this doesn’t say much, but in the context of a great husband doing fun shit, these read differently than a man-child who cannot handle basic adult responsibilities.
A while later, another guy taking the opportunity to bitch and complain sets up a great example about frame, with Chad offering more advice. The field report
Billy with no Frame
I have been here 12 months, yes I lift, read a lot of sidebar. I initally went Rambo, followed by anger phase, then settled, and continued working on myself. Generally, relationship has not changed.
I have found myself full of anger towards my wife for the past 3-4 weeks. Everything she does, or doesn’t do, pisses me off. I am spending a lot of time trying to work out where its coming from. I cant seem to get a handle on it. Lifting helps for a couple of hours, but then its back.
I have not been very nice to my wife a few times, and generally not pleasant to be around. I am good around other people. My kino, game, everything dropped off, and I don’t want to initiate, the sex has dropped off as well (not that it was that frequent). I am dealing with most shit tests, but I am failing comfort tests because I can’t be bothered. I am still up for sex, but just don’t want to initiate with my wife. I don’t think rejection is the cause of my lack of interest. Nothing happened 3-4 weeks ago to set it off, no other changes
Is it Ego?
Which spawned a litany of fellow commiserates:
It’s hard as hell to project positivity and be the “fun alpha” everyone talks about when you’re busting your ass at the gym, work, around the house, with the kids and getting zero recognition for it. I am right there with you. I’ve been doing dread for months, and ain’t shit changed.
We’re told to be outcome independent, but everyone wants positive outcomes.
We’re told to give less fucks, but if we truly didn’t give a shit we wouldn’t be here. We’d just bounce and go fuck tinder sluts.
I lost my OI last night. Took the fam out for a nice dinner, wife was fun and flirty, everything was coming up aces. I get the kids into bed early Then she decides to stay up and finger fuck her phone. Falls asleep on the couch. I go to bed, butt hurt. She comes in an hour later asking what’s wrong, and true to form, I can’t escape the conversation cuz I’m in bed. I go mini-Rambo and end up having to discuss our shitty sex life and her feelings for two hours. I did my best to fog and deflect, but my fate was sealed. Now I have to go see a counselor with her.
Chad comes in and responds, Billy’s last word sums up what I’m writing about.
“You have a hard time projecting positivity because you don’t project it you stupid bitch. You learn how to embrace positivity and enjoy life for what it is. Otherwise, it’s all horseshit and all you’re doing is pretending to be a clown. Here’s a hint. Clowns aren’t actually happy.
“By the way - everyone in here knows you autistic fucks are going to fail and fuck it up. It’s on you to not be an autistic fuck and fuck it up — which you’re obviously going to any so — what’s the point of this warning in the first place?
“Maybe you’re warning yourself? It’s cute how you say YOU autistics”
Ignore tone, focus on content.
Billy’s are missing the knowledge and taking the bait. Billy’s have no Frame. They are butthurt. Blinded to everything else. It’s so, so, so easy. If some random dickhead on the internet can trigger the passive bickering, to AMOG over some stupid bullshit, imagine how much more effective people they are emotionally invested in are going to be at triggering him?
With solid frame, a solid worldview of what you represent, stand for, and won’t stand for, you can actually pick and choose what you accept into your worldview.
For example, the useful content in that message was You need to learn how to embrace positivity and enjoy life for what it is. This is actually a hard skill that takes significant amounts of effort actively changing how you act, and eventually how you think about things. Instead, Billy focuses on the completely unimportant and useless fluff. Instead of picking out the value from a conversation and figuring out how to leverage it, he misses the point and spends his time bickering and defending his ego.
This is because men with no Frame are a total waste of time.
On a regular basis, Billy’s wife is bitching at him about something, or nothing. Instead of focusing on the actual problem, he gets sidetracked by being insulted by her feelings on the problem. Not even the problem. Way to go Billy. You just missed the diamond because he was too busy digging through shit because you never considered that the only thing you care about are diamonds!
If you’ve wondered why I always use the platitude: Wave a magic wand, what do you want? This is why. Knowing what you want, better yet internalizing what you want, helps you when you’ve given bait, or content hidden under wads of tone. What’s outside your Frame is Amusing, Intriguing or Irrelevant.
This happens all the time, and I could find more I’m sure, and maybe I will later.
Many of the guys in this space develop a way of speaking and writing in a way that sounds acerbic on the surface, checking men for Frame to see if they comprehend the content or the tone. My infamous “Showing off the Fuck Trophies, for Clout.” is my most popular example.
My tone is crass. Fuck trophies, clout. It’s cynical and insulting. What’s the content? Don’t use your children to pander on social media. Matt Walsh gets it too, you notice the throwaway line: “They are infants and you can barely see them.”
So he knows it’s unfair to the children to use them like this. He knows they should be protected from an open internet full of weirdos pedophiles etc. But he minimizes the harm, and instead makes fun of me for not having a dad (for the record, I have 2 tyvm)
Frameless men get butthurt a lot. They never see the meat. And this is me, some random cunt, over text, that they’ll never, ever interact with in real life that can do it. Imagine what a wife can do.
