Nice Guys aren't nice.
They are weak, but they don't have to be.
More than anything, Jason wanted to be liked.
It’s on Page 1, No More Mr. Nice Guy. Of all the things that have been written, spoken, or acted on in the last 20 years in this space, from soup to nuts, dick to butts, that one line is the best summary of the main problem for men.
Guys are too nice.
Single guys are too nice. They don’t want to sound mean, and what mean, means, has been twisted to the point that nice means pathetic.
Married guys are too nice. They don’t want their woman to get angry, in fact they fear her emotions for various reasons. They become children.
It’s not a surprise. Northern Europe studies this stuff, which is apt for being the epicenter of frigid feminists and all. Turns out that the more equal you treat people, the more communist social programs you get to even the playing field, the more that gender differences express themselves. That’s why every unc online has a story about his grandma being a good woman who milked the cows and did a bunch of work in the factory when they were growing up, while every 20 something guy knows 10 girls with <50 subscriber OnlyFans accounts and has a folder of nudes she sends to new dates. Jason is a nice guy, and the rest of guys become thugs.
We call him Chad, because he gets laid, but he also runs a human trafficking operation, went to jail for drugs, and generally doesn’t have a good CV.
It’s not a bug it’s a feature.
The Unibomber had a point. In 2026 I hate to make a negative comparison because it looks like AI, but in this case it’s important. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature. — — —
Hunter Gatherers had a way of family formation. Agriculturists had a way of family formation. Industrial revolutionists had a way of family formation. And now in the information economy, global citizens are in a brand new family formation paradigm, we just don’t quite know the rules yet.
So all of these things we see today isn’t caused by the feminization of the church, or any other bogeyman that you’ve read about. Sorry, feminists are the symptom, not the disease. What we are seeing is the grand experiment. We are all trying to figure things out, and like people are, when in moments of crisis, we don’t rise to the occasion, but fall to our level of training.
In this case, we have 10,000 years of agriculture training, conditioning in a system that needs chastity to ensure paternity, it needs lifelong monogamy to ensure productivity, and it needs a social contract to keep people acting right. Wanting to be liked by women, deifying women, or simping as the kids call it, is the whole point.
>> I can never do it right, Jason began, looking over his list. No matter how hard I try, Heather always finds something wrong. I don’t deserve to be treated this way. I try to be a good husband and father, but it’s never good enough.
This is every modern marriage.
“It’s not my marriage, mine is great.” Good for you, too bad you’re at the end of the bell curve and not in the middle of it. Turns out this isn’t about you. It’s the sexual version of a bank: when you owe the bank a million dollars, it’s your problem. When you owe the bank a billion dollars, it’s the banks problem.
And right now, sexually, we owe the bank 8 billion dollars, and 4 billion of which is unprepared for electronic banking, let alone the modern sexual marketplace.
I wrote down everythinig we talked about over the last few decades and now you can learn it all without spending 10,000 hours in a forum and 10,000 hours in your life learning it the hard way
Why women are so bad
It’s Schrödinger’s woman. She’s a Machiavellian mastermind or an insolent child, depending on whichever works better for her. She’s actually just a woman, with woman brain and woman heart, but men can’t conceptualize women as people, but as something better than people. It’s a joke, where the most misogynistic thing a guy can do is treat a woman like a regular human being.
So when Jason (In Glovers example) can never do anything right, his problem is looking at his wife like she is his better than him, the source of his self worth, and able to be appeased. She’s not. She’s a woman who listens to her feelings. And when she feels attracted to Jason she ignores his faults and amplifies his qualities. She puts everything he does into the best light and looks at everything else as a quirky flavor of Jason.
Which is hypergamy, basically. Forget what you think it means. Men can love an infinite variety of women, while women are simple and settle for the best. Add to that a woman’s ego. It says she is never wrong, her ego makes sure of it. That’s that teflon coating they throw on their man. Every other man looks less attractive and he looks more. If they didn’t do this we would be about as monogamous as the gay community is (hint: they fuck around, a LOT)
Back in secularland, we have shrinks who talk about the cluster B behaviors that women use: double binds (damned if you do, damned if you don’t) moving the goalposts (you need to read my mind, do better) and such are her way of sorting out these feelings of attraction she is missing. Nothing is good enough becuase she doesn’t know what she’s missing. So she asks for everything and blames him when it doesn’t work. Add to that Jason’s need to please, and you end up with modern marriage dysfunction: a wife who is lashing out because she doesn’t desire her husband, and her husband doing more because he wants validation from his wife.
And this may not be you, or it may not be you, yet. But it’s a lot of people, and a lot of people owe the bank, so it’s the banks problem.
For the next section, try to read it as illustrative not descriptive. It’s not about objectively true (which social things can’t fit into that box anyways) but whether it fits the facts well enough to understand it narratively. We are still primates at heart and stories are how we learn things and what we hang out decisions onto. Besides, men and women lie and are fairly complex so we will never get a scientific method for fucking. We will always have variations of the monomyth. And while Apollo fighting Leonidas to explain the sun rising every morning isn’t as accurate as the orbital mechanics we know today, it’s good enough to track the harvest seasons. We aren’t trying to solve for people we just want to get laid on occasion and raise a family without the wife blowing it up for funsies.
This is our spaces monomyth, and it’s good enough.
Why isn’t it me?
David Claire, author of Practical Female Psychology made a conceptual framework for the phases of relationships. He called it the Stages of Female Manipulation:
Testing the man
Seeking communication
Putting him to work
Evolutionary Selfishness
Self Determination
While you may not have a dismal marriage and a dead bedroom, I bet anything that your wife was playing hard to get, or a little bitchy, or bratty, or in some way acted in a way that lesser men would have crashed out at it. It’s a test. Literally if you can’t handle her at her worst you don’t deserve her at her best. Good women straddle the line between cunty and challenging. Bad women are just horrible people and end up with stupid men who fall for it. Only the most exceptional circumstance doesn’t have some form of a woman making it a challenge.
And while you may not have a dismal marriage and a dead bedroom, I’ll bet at some point when you were casually dating she wanted very deep communication. She wanted all your deepest secrets and insecurities and feelings and all that good stuff. The reason why you laugh when guys in this space tell you not to be vulnerable in front of your woman is because you haven’t seen what happens at the end of this process. They talk about it being weaponized, you get the validation, then some cuddles or whatever, for now.
You may not have a dismal marriage and a dead bedroom, but it’s been going strong for a while, and you’re probably here. The whole point of a relationship for a woman is to have a man who can help her nest. Yeah, feeling and church and parents and my values. It’s all the veneer behind the instinct. Good marriages and bad marriage can be here. Plow horse husbands and dutiful wives. Cheating, high valued husbands and their neurotic loving wives can be here. It’s all about longevity and wifey not falling out of love. These things aren’t good or bad or right or wrong, they just are.
It’s Briffaults law, the source of that god awful low hanging platitude “Did you know 70% of divorces are initiated by women?”
And while you may have a dismal marriage and a dead bedroom, you definitely know Female Evolutionary Selfishness. The first line in the chapter is exactly what Jason is experiencing:
“I’m never satisfied no matter what you do or how hard you try.”
Why does it happen? Tons of reasons. You got fat. She gets fat and you stop sleeping with her. She wants more baby daddies, she thinks she can do better, she’s bored etc etc etc.
Doesn’t matter why it happens. Way too many chucklefucks are looking for the why when they ignore the how or what; as in,
How can I get through this?
What do I do about it?
If your relationships is a source of guilt, shame or confusion, if your relationship is a series of feedback loops resulting in resentment and anger, then you’re doing through the stuff that this space was built to work out. No one needs a guide on how to get promoted at work, or to feed their kids Spagetti-O’s for dinner. Everyone needs to understand why their wife suddenly hates them. Lots of people find it embarrassing to admit that perhaps a little training in dealing with a wife or a girlfriend is needed. They would rather suffer and pretend they know what they are doing.
“Yeah, she cheated on me and took the kids, but at least I ain’t no bitch!”
You may have gotten out of a dismal marriage and a dead bedroom, so you definitely know Self Determination. The whole point of this horrible behavior was to make you unattractive, moreso than before. Wifey needs to be the hero, you need to be the villain, because instinctively, wifey knows that if she is going to land the next man, she needs to be a victim and you need to be the abusive man who forced her to leave.
When a guy hits this stage he’s just worthless and nothing is good enough. It’s not even about him at this point. It’s wifey positioning herself to be welcomed by the tribe when this is done. Which makes sense, just about any primate has a few men who fuck, and a harem of women who hang around. When men lose a fight they leave to start their own tribes. Women don’t do that, mostly because bears and cougars would eat them and their young.
It’s cave-science so you can’t even argue it.
So to answer the question of this section. What is all this stuff that doesn’t apply to you even for?
It’s so you can see it coming, if it does. And it may not. Often, I’ve found that guys who know all the obvious problems will avoid the obvious problems, whereas they would have otherwise fallen into them, because in times of crisis we don’t rise to the occasion, but fall to our level of training. A degree in cuntology ensures you’ll never need to use it, just like real college degrees!
Hey, at least you ain’t no bitch.
