Indifference, not argument or emotional engagement, is what actually governs male–female power dynamics.
Shut the fuck up, or STFU, is a solid beginner strategy for the newly baptised, Praxeological man. There’s a lot of interactions between men and women, dater and datee, boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, that bitch and divorced guy. The goal is sometimes to prevent needless conflict, or show a girl her silly and neurotic ways aren’t real, or to cut to the real issue and not some proxy fight about the silverware placement. The strategies in the Red Pill are there: Amused Mastery, Agree and Amplify, Negative Assertion, Negative Inquiry, going Nuclear, Cocky and Funny, Fogging etc.
And for a new guy it can be a fire hose of options. When should I Fog and when should I Agree and Amplify? (Fogging is for when you want to avoid invalidating a girls feelings, while not letting her reach the consensus that her feelings are real, while Agree and Amplify is a way to drive her neuroticism to absurdity, to subtly imply she’s being crazy and can calm down.)
It can be hard, and guys pick the wrong tool for the wrong situation all the time, or forget the tools exist. That’s the purpose of STFU. In an interaction where you know you’re going to lose; losing, meaning to end up with no sex, and a bunch of loud mouth noises you don’t want — a STFU is your way of taking a knee, running out the clock, and taking a look at the interation tomorrow to see what you could have done.
You’ll never win with a STFU, but you’ll never lose either. It’s a stopgap for when you have your act together enough to have your act together, and aren’t steered towards a sexless tinnitus session everytime your woman gets her panties in a twist. Of course, it’s something you’re supposed to do less as you get better.
Having said all that, there’s a wonderful strategy that you can use once you know what you’re doing. You’ve heard of Shut the Fuck up (STFU) but have you heard of “Shut the fuck up”?
Keeping Your Woman In Line
Apr 15th, 2008 by CH
Back in the day I lived in a group house with three other guys. It was a great time. As men, we really sharpened our joshing in this environment. I mastered the art of the cutting retort.
One of the guys, a physically imposing 6’7″ laid back dude, had a hot girlfriend – let’s call her Kay – with a great personality. She was every guy’s dream girlfriend. One night, all of us were sitting around in the living room splayed across dirty couches watching TV when Kay started gossiping about inconsequential private matters involving her boyfriend and his family. She meant no harm by it, and we weren’t really paying attention, but he obviously didn’t like the idea of her revealing personal details from his life. Out of the blue, he thundered
“SHUT THE FUCK UP KAY!!”
The room fell silent. Kay blushed a bright crimson and sat immobile, looking at him submissively from under her lowered eyes. She didn’t protest or attempt to defend herself. I think all she said was “OK alright” in a mousy half-exasperated, half-apologetic voice. After what seemed like hours but was only 30 seconds, one of us broke the tension by changing the subject to something stupid on TV.
Later that night, I was awoken by a steady thumping noise coming through the walls. It was loud enough to rouse me to investigate. I walked closer to the source of the thump on the other side of the house (this was a very large house) which was reverberating from one of the bedrooms. It sounded like a heavy appliance being dropped. As I neared the bedroom door I heard the unmistakeable grunts, moaning, and shrieks of delight of lovemaking. Mr. Shut The Fuck Up was fucking his girlfriend so hard that the bed frame was lifting off the floor. His thrusting tempo was precise — you could have practiced piano to the metronomic beat of the thumping.
There are a few impressionable moments in a young man’s life that opens his eyes to the true nature of women. This was one of them.
P.S. They got happily married
Roissy, Whinemoreplease, and others have approached the topic from multiple angles.
Uncaring Assholery
Telling a woman to STFU is the pinnacle of uncaring assholery. What is uncaring assolery? It’s outcome independence, personified. A wonderful zen state for men, where we are confident in our abilities: to replace a woman, to weather a woman’s tears, and weather the social stigma around being honest to women. You know it can work because women complain about it constantly. And if you know women, you know they only complain about things when they work.
How many women have you seen on whatever slop-social-media platform you use, complaining about all men (read: a specific man who just did this to her) who act aloof, ambivalent, or downright disrespectful. Turn the sound off and just watch the video while ignoring the subtitles. On most of them the woman has an ear to ear grin. That distance between her talk and her actions is called incongruence. Actions are involuntary, and more importantly, honest. I don’t have the science! to explain it, but when a woman is into you, they secretly love when you act the asshole. They swear they don’t, but the smile doesn’t lie, and neither does the slimer.
“But everytime I’m an asshole, women call the cops on me, or leave.” You say. Dear fictional chump, you are using your definition of asshole. Women have their own definition of asshole, and you care too much. Inside every man are two assholes, the male idea of an asshole(M) and the female definition of an asshole(F) and only the one moistens panties and doesn’t over invest.
There are genuine assholes who are loved, and there are spiteful assholes who get nowhere. The difference is crucial.
Uncaring asshole = success with women.
Caring asshole = failure with women.
When women say they don’t fall for assholes, they are thinking of the second kind. A caring asshole comes from a place of bitterness and spite. His assholery is reactive rather than proactive. He is poor at calibrating which women will be responsive to his dick attitude. Caring assholes are crassly insulting and transparently invested in the outcome of their game.
Uncaring assholes are assholes as a consequence of their indifference. It is the aloofness of the man she loves that drives women crazy with obsession*, and that aloofness is manifest as asshole behavior. An uncaring asshole demonstrates clearly in his body language and tone of voice, not to mention his dearth of words, that he could take her or leave her.
The problem with being an asshole(M) is that you care. A proper asshole(F) doesn’t. If you can’t tell the difference, don’t sorry, she will. But you can learn. Are you invested in the situation where you’re being an asshole? Does your heartrate increase? Does the way she react to your assholery change what you’re doing, asshole? This means you care. You’re being reactive, and ultimately, it’s another form of validation seeking behavior. Remember how you were you were supposed to have read Dr. Robert Glovers No More Mr Nice Guy and accepted that validation seeking behavior is why you’re a sexless nice guy loser?
Yeah. Turns out nice guys are assholes(M) as well.
Sometimes there’s good times to get angry. Assholes(F) aren’t angry though. Assholes don’t care. That’s the key.
Is your wife running her mouth about you being an idiot in front of your friends? STFU(F)
Is your wife neurotic and spazzing out about your mother in law over something that you don’t have the time to deal with? STFU(F)
Is your ex wife thinking it’s okay to talk to you like you’re still that husband she fell out of love with and cheated on with her neighbor? STFU(F)
You’re not telling her to shut the fuck up because you’re man. You're telling her to shut the fuck up because you don’t care. And for some inexplicable reason, women find it sexy when a man just doesn’t care. Not that it matters, because if you’re doing it to get laid, you still care and you’ve an asshole(M) when you’re supposed to be an asshole(F)
Maybe you’re actually mad. Maybe she crossed a boundary and you actually care. Stow that shit. Bottle it up, put it into a deep part of your psyche and leave it there while you are busy being an asshole(F). Save it for the bedroom, or the tailgate, or whever it is you happen to notice the wettening. Then pull it all back up while you’re pounding away, gets that frustration out of your system, and then in 3 minutes all will be well with the world again, for your are the asshole(F), destroyer of worlds, and the nuclear pounding she just received convinces her to offer an unconditional surrender.
Your grandfather would be proud of you.
A small aside
If you’ve made it this far you’re a man of taste. Sit back and enjoy some fictional works that can kill 6 hours way better than any marvel slop. the Jake Long Series. Softbone, available now, and Ghost of Odessa, available next month!
Too funny 😂
Corollary to this I couldn’t help but think of; wth is Kate spending time w three dudes instead of with her girlfriends, and why is she trying to engage them in conversation? Think the author posted a piece two months back about how tomboy women who can’t hack it in female hierarchies try to insert and gradually control male. In many cases the guys concede.
The correct response is, obviously, for one of the guys to pop off a stfu once she starts sticking her head up too far. She can’t hack it amongst her own? She’s forbidden from even trying here.