I’m watching Hermitcraft with my woman. It’s a collaborative YouTube series about people socially playing Minecraft. It’s great when you and your woman are on the same page. Go to the same church or no church at all, want to live in the same city and have similar views on marriage etc. And of course one of the most emotional and important decisions are about what kind of family the two of you want. That conversation is almost impossible to have. Mostly because women are too focused on the stakes, men believe in blank slate equalism, and because of Schrödinger.
The difficulty in younger family formation is not because people are stupid or lying, though many jilted woman-writers can’t fathom it not being the case. It’s because women change, men focus on the odds, and the internet is full of narcissists with megaphones and a need for fame in an outrage based economy. A few weeks back I wrote a piece called:
Which pointed out that women weren’t able to do hypotheticals. It’s not a defect, it’s solipsism. And instead of writing a few thousand more words to define and structure the concept I’ll use a small platitude:
When boys play with a Batman action figure they think they are Batman.
When a girl plays with Barbie dolls, they think the doll is her.
That’s solipsism. It’s not selfish, it’s self-involvement. One of the ways solipsism manifests in life is in how men and women approach risk. Yes, I was talking about women wanting babies in their 40’s, bear with me. Women are solipsistic and men are empathic. Men can put themselves into the mind of others, intuitively. Instead of linking to a few thousands words in EvoPsych research I draw your attention to the life of cavemen.
Cave men had to hunt in packs. We didn’t have claws or teeth, couldn’t run very fast, and our only genetic advantage was we could sweat and we could communicate. Communication evolved so we could coordinate hunting activity among other men. Sweat kept us from overheating, but that’s not important.
Empathy developed in men because those of us who were able to predict how animals behaved, predator and prey alike were better able to survive the former and hunt the latter.
Cave Stacey back home didn’t need these skills, though they are applied in different ways. Women fought for status the way men fought for food. They did this because losing status meant losing the top tier men in the tribe and potentially losing the tribe.
Are you full of SCIENCE! yet? Good. this is all to get to the point, starting with an essay, titled:
The 40 year old Virgin, for Women
If you’re not a Zoomer, you know the classic comedy, 40 Year Old Virgin. The premise alone is funny: a failure of a man learning to succeed. I’m saying that women are virgins by choice for the most part while men are virgins by consequence.
Women have their own version of the 40 year old virgin, and it’s getting pregnant in their late 30s and beyond, which is clinically referred to as a geriatric pregnancy.
The term “geriatric pregnancy” is increasingly considered outdated and is being replaced by “advanced maternal age” (AMA), as pregnancies over 35 are now very common. Of course, autism is skyrocketing but ignore that. It’s typical in how our gyno-centric society is more focused on how the term makes women feel than the actual risks.
I will lose most normally adjusted people at this point, I ask you to stick it out.
I equate adult virgin men to them because they sound the same. Loser men develop convoluted theories of the universe that find a way to blame everyone else for their problems instead of addressing the issue is a skill issue. theres a MGTOW Wiki that you shouldn’t bother looking into that catalogues it all. The same way you hear celibate men talking about looksmaxxing (hyperfixation on your physical appearance) or sexual chimerism (Women retaining sperm from multiple partners for biological cuckoldry) you hear women talking about pregnancy in their 40s. And trust me, you don’t want to get into the god damned fruit fly study that these guys won’t shut the hell up about.
Wait, you ask. What nonsense is this? I told you to bear with me, so thanks.
And I wish I was making it up. There are forums and youtube channels and essays and articles and books that have been written up about these ‘theories.’ They develop branding (black pill, incel) and cherry pick research to build a world that even Tolkien would be in awe over the attention to detail.
Well, you ask. Isn’t this what you do also?
No. For the most part guys write down what they did and the effects they have. The difference here isn’t in the absurdity or the lack of SCIENCE! but whether people hyperfixate on life in the practical or life in the abstract. Again, bear with me.
In this same vein, there are now women who do the same thing for their own female failings. And the worst one is about geriatric pregnancies. First off, the term offends them because ‘geriatric’ implies old, and calling a woman old is the worst thing you can do except calling her fat or ugly or exactly like her mother. Secondly, it’s because millennial women from Tumblr are no longer in their 20s, they are pushing 40, and their writing has gone from what they are coping with as foids (don’t ask) to what they are coping with as spinsters.
They have taken their own bastardizations of SCIENCE! suggesting things like how male sperm gains the power of autism by men’s late 30s, and most importantly for the point here, that healthy pregnancy is completely doable at 39-42 because a friend of a friend knows someone who read a study about it in the newspaper.
I’m not saying a woman cannot have a baby at 40. I’m saying women focus on the stakes and men focus on the odds. I’m also saying that not paying attention to the risks and the odds while focusing entirely on the stakes and the wants is causing a lot of problems in relationships today. Men let their women lead, and this causes men to get caught in this spiral of neurotic hyperbole and manufactured SCIENCE! instead of a much healthier place.
Back to Geriatric pregnancy. It’s a term used to describe the increased health risks of women who get pregnant after the age of 35. C-sections, stillbirths, down syndrome, autism, preeclampsia and a host of other concerns go up as they get older, and the curve isn’t gradual. It’s almost as if women’s fertility drops off a cliff, or hits a … wall.
[SYMBOL CRASH]
And since men focus on the odds, we instinctively prefer younger women. And since women focus on the stakes, they instinctively show you pictures of 50 year old baddies and call you a virgin when you focus on the odds instead of the stakes (I want a baby NOW)
And since men focus on the odds, we prefer women having kids in their late 20s to mid 30s. And since women focus on the stakes, they prefer having kids just before it’s too late because their corporate careers have plateaued (most have by now) and the doggo’s are passing away. I jokingly Tweeted out once that I was baffled at why women fought so hard to wait until their last egg was rattling on the rim like it’s game 7 of the NBA finals.
And this is what sucks about the massive slop of blogs, essays, science and relationship conversations. Women are delaying child birth, and men don’t need to care because they can settle down in their 40s with women in their late 20s. There is just enough dick-envy from the foids (again, don’t ask) that they want to be like men.
Jokes aside, this isn’t so much a clash in personal preferences, there’s an environmental factory at play that has a larger part in this. In my essay titled,
I map out the change between hunter gatherer family formation, to agricultural family formation, to industrial family formation, ending on information economy family formation. It’s a good read, and to sum up: the temporal gap between sexual maturity and economic independence has grown wider in each era, which is driving the age of family creation.
All the black pill and foid (please don’t ask) material is the tail wagging the dog. We don’t think in instincts, we develop post-hoc justifications for instincts using our intellect. None of it is advice. None of it is actionable. All of it is cope and lies and neuroticism and a fear of missing out.
We aren’t so different than the ancients who suggested the sun god and moon god fight every day, and the crops are dependent on blood sacrifice; we have only gotten more sophisticated gods, hence, SCIENCE!
Red Pill on the Family
So what does this mean for you? You’re the guy with the great girlfriend, the new wife, or crossed the Rubicon into common-law marriage. You are ambivalent about children, as is your woman, for now. She couldn’t imagine having a child, until she does. It’s schrodinger’s NAWALT, or not all women are like that, until they are.
