The Dog Walker, Storytelling

How to make words accomplish multiple things

The reason that reading is hard is because writers waste your time. It’s not because they want to, though many may, but because it’s a slog when every word serves a single purpose.

Some of you are subscribed to me for my Red Pilled work. Some of you are subscribed for entertainment. Some of you are subscribed to me because you also want to write. I’m going to offer a little bit for all of you here. In this case, I’m going to talk about density in writing, on the topic of RP, from the most entertaining contemporary fiction book of 2025, The Dog Walker.

In this chapter, Rex, finds out about his co workers soon to be marriage. The guy who has no options and a thirst for validation accepts a shitty deal because he thinks that’s the best he can do. Not only that, but he convinces himself that it’s a good thing, that his necessity is a virtue. Guys hear that platitude, but have trouble mapping it to a real experience.

I should add, maybe 25% of this was inspired by the real life events in my life. I find it’s useful, as the more plausible things are, the better they are for the reader. Suspending disbelief is important in all stories, but the less of it you have to use, the better. Afterwards, I’ll go over density and why it helps.

And now, 700 words from chapter 3.

Sara

“Wait, you bought your inlaws a car?”

“No. Technically, I bought the car but Sarah needed it. Then she lent it to her parents for a month because we were going to be sailing and I didn’t need it.”

“Sounds like she has you wrapped around her finger, dude.” Jason prodding him kept me entertained. I’d never seen someone so excited and enthusiastic about talking about nothing. I had a mini panic attack. Everything I was terrified of happening to me if I settled down was what he was taking a victory lap about.

I could just picture how it had happened to him. Webber, slowly blinking, taking a piss in a stainless steel trough. Looking up and seeing five hundred magazine clippings of pussy wrapped in leather stapled to a cork board behind scratched plexiglass. No paper towels. Just air dryers. A dance floor full of native women and aged out shack rats. At a table across the way would be two lone white women. A red-headed goddess, Sara. Three gray stripes of hair from some vaccination, a bride of Frankenstein hair-do. Webber looking over and thinking “she must be saving herself for just the right man.” Her wingwoman, a thick, rugby-inspired girl. Built for churning butter or popping out farmhands. Love at first sight.

He was still talking about the fucking car?

“No no. I’m going to be a good husband. Why wouldn’t I take care of everyone? Her dad is between jobs right now, and I wasn’t using it anyways, so why not?”

“Do you have to pick them up for the wedding or will they have their own ride?” Jason asked. Webber must be able to see him laughing. He just doesn’t seem to care.

“Ha ha, very funny. No, I don’t have to pick them up for the wedding.”

“So are you having a big ceremony? Friends from back home?” I asked. I was being earnest. I was trying.

“No, I don’t have a lot of friends back home, and it’s like a four hour flight, so it’ll mostly be her folks and some of her friends here.”

“Don’t worry then, Webbs. We got you, man. If you can’t trust your shipmates, then who can you trust? We got a plan.”

“We do?” I said. Jason slapped me in the chest.

“I do. I’ll tell you about it at standeasy.”

A beep started going off on the console. I excused myself to look. It was a military grade server rack. The monitor was welded into a steel cage and sported a retractable keyboard built out of heavy duty rubber, plastic, and aluminum. Across the top, a foil label read SECRET, 5-eyes (FVEY) only in metallic red.

A new message was incoming. Routine priority. CONFIDENTIAL. It was the Operations Schedule for the winter. Captain will want it in the morning. Nothing requiring immediate action.

Was Webber still talking about the inlaws?

“So we are actually kind of kinky,” he said.

“Wait, what?” I said. Oh god. He’s talking about his sex life now. Goddamned Jason. I never wanted a terrorist threat more in my life. I stood there, staring at his pale skin, his cigarette stained teeth, those boyish … looks. The last thing I wanted to picture was him naked, hunched over, lanky and horny.

“Everyone’s kinky man, whatever.” Jason said, baiting him again and loving it. So was Webber. I thought we must had been the first people in his life who were aware he’d had sex before, and he had been dying to get it out.

“No, they’re not. Not like this. We usually have fun with others, where we…”

I tapped him on his chest. “You mean like swingers? I said. “Key parties and shit? You?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, I thought you said Sarah was a virgin,” Jason said.

Now I know why Jason was baiting. He already knows all this. He knew I didn’t know. I thought he was baiting Webber. He was actually baiting me. I glared at him, that son of a bitch. He can’t hold it in any longer. He’s laughing hard.

“When we met, yeah, she was. What can I say? I have that effect on women.”

“No, you don’t.”

Density

This is 700 words. It’s not difficult to read, but many guys would have trouble getting all 83,000. I know I do. I used to think it’s because I had ADHD or some other fault. It turns out it’s because writers drag things out. So when I talk about density, that’s why I find it important. If a single sentence serves multiple purposes, it makes it more important for me to read it so I can follow the story.

It’s the same as a video. If you can play some podcast on YouTube at 200% speed and not miss anything, that’s because it lacks density. (almost all non scripted videos lack density) Here’s some examples from the text:

“Wait, you bought your inlaws a car?”

“No. Technically, I bought the car but Sarah needed it. Then she lent it to her parents for a month because we were going to be sailing and I didn’t need it.”

“Sounds like she has you wrapped around her finger, dude.” Jason prodding him kept me entertained. I’d never seen someone so excited and enthusiastic about talking about nothing. I had a mini panic attack. Everything I was terrified of happening to me if I settled down was what he was taking a victory lap about.

The first line is simple characterization. The guy is investing heavily in his marriage, overly so. So the question is asking the character for why he would do this? The word technically, sets you up for the reason. The babble, the technical, it shows that he has a justification ready to go. He knows he’s being used by her family, and he pretends that it’s a good idea. It’s likely that his wife had told him this.

It’s dense in that you learn about the character, you see the plot point expressed, and you establish a relationship between the other characters, who find him odd and worthy of playful mockery. Jason establishes that he is aloof with just about everything and has a devil may care attitude. Rex establishes that he is more neurotic, terrified of being in that situation.

In earlier chapters he establishes that he invents arbitrary rules for himself to protect him against being hurt. This reinforces that character flaw, which comes into play later on, when he almost sleeps with her. This further reinforces why he does what he does, and makes the eventual apex to his character arc have more weight.

Next section

I could just picture how it had happened to him. Webber, slowly blinking, taking a piss in a stainless steel trough. Looking up and seeing five hundred magazine clippings of pussy wrapped in leather stapled to a cork board behind scratched plexiglass. No paper towels. Just air dryers. A dance floor full of native women and aged out shack rats. At a table across the way would be two lone white women. A red-headed goddess, Sara. Three gray stripes of hair from some vaccination, a bride of Frankenstein hair-do. Webber looking over and thinking “she must be saving herself for just the right man.” Her wingwoman, a thick, rugby-inspired girl. Built for churning butter or popping out farmhands. Love at first sight.

He was still talking about the fucking car?

Wait, didn’t I just say that density makes things easier to read? This next paragraph is meandering, laden with details. I’ll bet at least a few of you kind of glazed over it. Some of you may have enjoyed the prose, but notice it could have been removed and nothing would have changed in the chapter. Right?

Except that last line gives away the goal.

Rex is daydreaming, absent, not in the moment. This is a reoccurring theme with much of his character throughout the book. He’s always thinking about the what ifs. He’s neurotic, prone to overthink etc. So when you kind of gloss over this and take yourself out of the book, that line at the end has you physically mirror what Rex is doing.

Wait, so the book is still going?

Must be that the guy is blathering on about how much he loves his wife in an equally boring way. But while it’s ok to say ‘he said, boringly’ I find it much more rewarding to show you instead of telling you. Rex has a right to be scared of ending up like this guy, he’s doing the same thing, but pretending it’s better. I know it’s a detail that most people will gloss over, or won’t pick up on consciously, but that’s what I love about doing it. It’s like shoveling the driveway. No one notices unless you don’t do it.

And in this case, noticing is the difference between reading, and not reading the rest of the book.

“No no. I’m going to be a good husband. Why wouldn’t I take care of everyone? Her dad is between jobs right now, and I wasn’t using it anyways, so why not?”

“Do you have to pick them up for the wedding or will they have their own ride?” Jason asked. Webber must be able to see him laughing. He just doesn’t seem to care.

“Ha ha, very funny. No, I don’t have to pick them up for the wedding.”

“So are you having a big ceremony? Friends from back home?” I asked. I was being earnest. I was trying.

“No, I don’t have a lot of friends back home, and it’s like a four hour flight, so it’ll mostly be her folks and some of her friends here.”

“Don’t worry then, Webbs. We got you, man. If you can’t trust your shipmates, then who can you trust? We got a plan.”

“We do?” I said. Jason slapped me in the chest.

“I do. I’ll tell you about it at standeasy.”

He has an answer for everything. He takes everything at face value. Jason doesn’t care, this is all a ribbing. Rex is looking for things to make more arbitrary rules over. Listicles of top 10 things to be a high value male kind of shit. It doesn’t work, it never works, but you see how the bravado of Alpha Male is really just an attempt to avoid pain. But that’s only a second layer. I know this guy by what he says about his life. I know that Rex is a neurotic, but I can do better. I also know that, in spite of all this cuckoldry, Jason still treats him like a friend. they aren’t friends, they are co workers.

It’s because of what’s called a character web. If you look at Jason, Rex, Webber, and Mike (in a different chapter) they are all variations of the Rex Character. While Rex tries to be smooth and pick up girls with charm and charisma, it’s largely learned. Jason is the natural, but lacks Rex’s neuroticism about pain. Mike on the other hand is the opposite. He is hyper focused on the pain, while using charm as a weapon. Rex doesn’t have the vindictive side of neuroticism. Webber, while aloof like Jason, lacks the neuroticism, and suffers for it in a subpar marriage.

The reason a simple back and forth like this has depth is because I put these four quadrants together in a situation and see how they interact. What you’re seeing in a few questions is tackling the two concepts, charisma and pain, from every angle. Again, density. You may have glossed over all this, didn’t give it a second thought. Or maybe you did. the point is we are shoveling the driveway and you wouldn’t have noticed unless I didn’t do that. Then it would just be boring exposition and you wouldn’t have read the rest of the chapter, or the book.

A beep started going off on the console. I excused myself to look. It was a military grade server rack. The monitor was welded into a steel cage and sported a retractable keyboard built out of heavy duty rubber, plastic, and aluminum. Across the top, a foil label read SECRET, 5-eyes (FVEY) only in metallic red.

A new message was incoming. Routine priority. CONFIDENTIAL. It was the Operations Schedule for the winter. Captain will want it in the morning. Nothing requiring immediate action.

Was Webber still talking about the inlaws?

Since you already know Rex has a tendency to drift, this makes sense. I add to it that their work is more important than these petty personal conflicts. top secret info, classified material. Captain wants it by morning. All this important stuff happening around them, yet they are more concerned with Webber having a foursome.

Why in gods name would they care more about their lives than saving the country? Are their priorities in order? Or is the important stuff, not important? I don’t answer that yet, but you get to mull that over in the background as you read. This would have been boring had I just continued with more banter. then it’s just dragging things out. Again, density. Now you have to take all that I’ve done in this chapter and added to it a bunch of guys who are doing very important work but giving it no priority.

“So we are actually kind of kinky,” he said.

“Wait, what?” I said. Oh god. He’s talking about his sex life now. Goddamned Jason. I never wanted a terrorist threat more in my life. I stood there, staring at his pale skin, his cigarette stained teeth, those boyish … looks. The last thing I wanted to picture was him naked, hunched over, lanky and horny.

“Everyone’s kinky man, whatever.” Jason said, baiting him again and loving it. So was Webber. I thought we must had been the first people in his life who were aware he’d had sex before, and he had been dying to get it out.

“No, they’re not. Not like this. We usually have fun with others, where we…”

I tapped him on his chest. “You mean like swingers? I said. “Key parties and shit? You?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, I thought you said Sarah was a virgin,” Jason said.

Now I know why Jason was baiting. He already knows all this. He knew I didn’t know. I thought he was baiting Webber. He was actually baiting me. I glared at him, that son of a bitch. He can’t hold it in any longer. He’s laughing hard.

“When we met, yeah, she was. What can I say? I have that effect on women.”

“No, you don’t.”

And this part, which gets solved later, has a question. Is Webber actually some kind of charming cad, or is this an awkward sexual failure with window dressing? Which character in the character web wins?

While I don’t want to spoil it, the point of a protagonist is to have someone who wins these struggles, and to tell the story from his perspective, but most people know that. The fun is in the ‘how.’

Notice though. When Webber was talking about his marriage and his love for his wife, Rex was checked out, daydreaming about cuckoldry or whatever. Now that he’s talking about being a degenerate, he has 100% focus. Not because he’s interested in kink (he’s not) but because he needs to know that he’s better than this man. There’s no way that letting your wife treat you like a beta bucks with a piggy bank is the key to an awesome sex life, is it? There’s no way that Webbers lack of pain aversion is the best way to live, is it? Rex needs to know his rules matter.

It’s the main character arc. He makes rules to avoid pain and not become his step father. As the story progresses, he sees that those same rules are what make him fail at both. However, this is early in the story so some small successes are what embolden him to continue on this path. It’s like gambling, you always win the first few hands before you lose everything.

“No, you don’t.”

Rex says this with certainty, though he’s already established he is going to the mess hall to get confirmation. He’s convincing himself, not Webber.

Summary

Now I couldn’t say if this is the best example from the book, but it was a random sample I picked. If I had the time or you the patience, I could do the entire book from this lens. The point is that density makes a difference in writing. It’s one of the silent features of good books that kept me reading Hemmingway, while I couldn’t get through contemporary writers.

Thankfully, it’s not that you don’t like reading, you just don’t like most authors. I promised back when I started in 2015 not to waste peoples time, and every part of the process is inspired by that idea.

For paid guys, heres the whole chapter for ya.