The Worlds Longest, Most Interconnected String, with a Cup for Every Man.

The Parable of the Dead Internet Theory.

Somewhere along the way, the shape of it changed. But by then, it was hard to remember what it was ever meant to be.

Rob was a bit of a nerd. Rob wasn’t great with the people in his town. And so Rob made the the Worlds Longest, Most Interconnected String, with a Cup for Every Man because it was the only way he could fit in, and for a while things were pretty good.

Rob wanted to talk to other people, but Rob didn’t like people. He struggled with the noise and chaos of most conversations. He liked some people, but he did the math’s. According to the math’s he liked one in a million people.

There were billions of people, but they were far away. Rob knew that, out of those billions of people, there were thousands he wanted to talk to. But there was no way to reach them. So he built the computer that can talk to other computers. The world’s longest, most interconnected string, attached to a cup for every man.

After countless hours and tireless passion, Rob finally had the computer that could talk to other computers. He connected with one in a million people. There were thousands of them too. And for a while, things were great for Rob and Rob’s new friends.

Rob had a friend named Bill. Bill didn’t know how Rob made the computer that can talk to other computers. Bill was impressed with the world’s longest, most interconnected string, attached to a cup for every man. Bill liked how it worked. He liked Rob. So he told his friends about it. Bill made newer computers with Rob. Shinier cups, longer string. He took Rob’s machine and made it cool for the thousands of guys around the world, those one in a million guys. And for a while, things were good for Rob, Bill, and their good friends.

Soon, Bill met Steve. Steve kind of liked the computer, talking to other computers. Steve had a busy life. He played baseball, dated girls, and liked to bet on the games. He didn’t have all the time in the world to talk with the cups and strings, the computers that talked to other computers. What he liked was that it was new, something different. He liked how he could talk to other people like him, all over the world. Steve did like how he could talk to other people like Steve that were around the world.

Rob didn’t hate Steve. He was fond of Steve, even. But he didn’t like him the way he liked Bill. Steve reminded Rob of the kind of people he built the computer that can talk to other computers for — so he didn’t have to talk to anyone but the one in a million type of person. Still, Steve was alright, so Rob talked to him when Steve was there and Bill wasn’t. And for a while, things were pretty good for Rob and Bill and Steve; and all Rob and Bill’s best friends, and Steve’s new contacts.

Then Steve met his buddy Nick. Nick had an idea. He didn’t care much for the computer that can talk to other computers, the world’s longest, most interconnected string, attached to a cup for every man. But he saw Steve talk to Bill, and Bill talk to Rob. He knew there was something to it.

Nick took the computer that can talk to other computers. The world’s longest, most interconnected string, attached to a cup for every man. He made the string out of silk. He polished the cup until it shone. He made pink computers for women. They liked them. He made black computers for black people. They liked them too. He made custom computers for those with more money than sense. They liked them best of all. Nick told Steve he could use his new computer to talk with other baseball fans. They could bet on the games. They could buy the latest jerseys. They could make up pretend games with pretend players. Steve liked that. Everyone liked that, for a while.

Steve thought it was great. So did his friends. His wife thought it was great. Her friends thought it was great, too. Rob didn’t like it. He couldn’t get on the computer that can talk to other computers. The world’s longest, most interconnected string, attached to a cup for every man—but the string had too many cups on it now. It grew heavy. Too heavy for Rob to hold.

Nick got Bill a job in his cup and string company. Bill hated sports, but he loved working on the computers that talked to other computers. So he put up with it, for a while. And for a while, things were tolerable for Rob and Bill, and their lifelong friends. Things were fun for Steve and Steve’s friends, and things were lucrative for Nick.

Then Nick got the idea that he could sell more computers that talked to other computers to Gurpreet, his new neighbor down the street. Gurpreet knew hundreds of people, just like him, who loved to talk to each other. They looked up to Nick: he was flashy and had a nice car and a blond wife with big boobs. Nick was living the dream. Gurpreet wanted the dream too. And for a while, he was ready to do whatever it took to get it.

Gurpreet bought the computer that can talk to other computers. He helped Nick sell more to his friends, family, and kin back home. They wanted to make money like Nick did. They started talking to Steve and his friends. They wanted to win at fantasy baseball. Gurpreet had so many computers, he told his friends and family to change the games so he always won. He made more money than he knew what to do with; which wasn’t much. Gurpreet never had much money, nor did anyone he knew.

Steve didn’t like it. He wasn’t poor and didn’t mind losing money. The game wasn’t about getting rich. It was about having fun with others. The money kept it interesting. But Gurpreet was cheating. It wasn’t fun anymore. It was lame. Steve made fun of the people on the computer. He called Bill a nerd and laughed at his “Jeet boxes.” This hurt Bill, a lot.

Bill just wanted to work with computers and make a living. Now he spent most of his time fixing what Gurpreet broke. Gurpreet broke them to win baseball games. Bill didn’t sign up to stop Gurpreet from stealing Steve’s money. He was tired of being called a nerd. And for a while, Bill was fed up, and Bill’s everlasting friends had fallen off.

Bill drove over to Rob’s house and asked what he was up to.

“Hey, Bill! I wanted to talk to you, but Steve and Gurpreet won’t get off the computer. I’ve made a new thing. It’s something they don’t know about. It’s called bitcoin, and we can both talk to each other using the blockchain and make a little bit of money with it, just like the old times!”

“Wow, Rob, this is cool. I should tell Steve all about it!” And for a while, things were looking up for Rob and Bill and their old friends from before.