Who knows. If I can keep up the pace, and you like reading them, this may be the new thing.
Maybe you write emails for work, maybe you are writing the great American novel, eventually, once you finish perfecting your new elf language and sci fi setting. Maybe you Tweet for fun. One thing that makes your shit pop is storytelling. And storytelling has a good rule: show don’t tell.
If you don’t know what it means, I’ll give an example below. The first will be an example of telling, and the second, showing. I’ve taken this from the new work in progress, working title: Jake long in, Softbone: Cyberpunk AF,
Jake watched the new deckhand struggle. He threw line 6 a little slow and stood in the bite. They monkeys paw landed in the water, not even close to the dock. His Buffer laid into him, which encouraged him to move faster. Buck walked onto the main deck, closing the hatch behind him. Buck was already above decks. He thought it odd that he wasn’t down below, as he still had PTSD from the war. He hated the sky, but Buck hated waiting more.
and
The deckhand struggled to throw his line. The monkeys paw went taught, anchored by his foot, standing on the bite, and landed in the water. The buffer turned around, finger cocked,
“That wasn’t even close to the dock. Pull it up, do it again, or I’ll toss you in the ogee!“ Jake enjoyed watching simple words speed up the process. Buck opened the hatch and walked onto the deck. Jake looked away from the shipwork and ashed,
“Thought you wanted to wait down below? The sky reminded you of death I thought.”
“I hate the sky. I hate waiting more. I need off this boat. I need to meet my boy.”
“What about your ol lady?”
“That won’t be as easy. After.“
It’s a simple difference, with bigger impact. The first statement is a series of things that happen. There’s no importance laid on any of it, no details which stand out, no reason to think anything happening is impacted by anything else than whats in front of the ‘camera’
In the second, you see the same event played out differently. You don’t get to live in the mind of the people, so the narrator doesn’t explain the motivations like it’s a reality TV show feeding you lazy exposition. You know need to be told the buffer is mad, he tells the deckhand, you can figure it out. you don’t need to be told that getting yelled at made the deckhand worked faster. Jake, the protagonist, enjoys it. why?
Well, earlier on in the story he has trouble relating to how men work around each other. Earlier there was another buffer yelling at a deckhand and he acted uneasy. This is after his character arc is completed, and now it’s entertaining to watch. It infers growth, pulling double duty.
You don’t have to be told that Buck has PTSD from drone warfare making him afraid of the sky, the characters tell each other as if they both already know and it’s a bit of banter. But it serves another purpose. You find out that Buck wants something more and is risking his PTSD trigger. Meeting his son and his wife?
Why meet? Shouldn’t it be return to? that’s odd, a mystery. Much better than saying ‘Buck had PTSD, but didn’t care, seeing his family was more important and he was impatient’ because you get all that, but you have to work a little to understand it, which is more rewarding.
Plus, the wife will be more complicated. you don’t know why, but surely it will come up later. these threads help to keep you interested in teh story as it progresses. Everything is for a reason, even if you don’t know the reason right away. I promise something, I deliver something. That’s tension.
Thanks for reading. Jake Long, Softbone will be coming out soon, hopefully this fall. Share this to people who enjoy the genre, or have enjoyed my books.
As always, Dog Walker is still kicking ass and a great read for men
