The Red Pill does not have a Bad Faith Problem
It has am uncaring solution
Wait. You would ask. I’m supposed to be feminist Hitlor! Why am I mutuals with, an a reader of, as well as giving a promotion for, a writer from Evie Magazine? Isn’t that like, sleeping with the enemy or something?
To you, person I invented to make a point, I would tell you that Hulk Hogan didn’t actually hate Ravishing Rick Rude. After WrestleMania we can all have a beer together. Besides, whenever she comes across my timeline she always has something that gives me a sensible chuckle or good insight at best, and at worst is something I have to ask my wife to explain the significance of.
So if I were Roosh V, and she were a Tumblr feminist, we would break down each others arguments and give point by point rebuttals, sizable charts, graphs and studies, none of which either of us has read. Our perspective audiences would cheerlead us in the coliseum and declare us the winner. Peripheral brands would have commentary channels and essays, further stepping on this particular cocaine until you can’t get high anymore.
But, I’m old, and I’m over it. Besides, she’s not wrong, but I’m writing this to suggest that’s not the point.
Life is messy and people are assholes. For every example of a rich man stringing a woman along during her prime baby-rabied years, there’s a woman holding her mans libido hostage. For every man who love bombs a woman only to leave her after the money shot is a woman who thinks it’s not a big deal if the man she marries is not the father of her children. Again, this isn’t the point.
It’s the whole framing. To her point:
The red pill gives insecure, overcompensating men free reign to psychologically and emotionally abuse vulnerable young women (specifically, the ones with pick-me-itis and Not Like the Other Girls Syndrome) under the pretense that it’s just Evo psych truth pills.
It doesn’t give anything. It’s not really a thing. A loose analogy to the Matrix and a collection of guys with a broad and similar purpose, no hierarchy, leadership, gatekeeping or influence (yes, just because you watch Fresh and Fit doesn’t mean anyone outside of your group chat has ever heard of any of this.) It’s not a thing, it has no moral agency, and it’s not able to be held responsible.
No different than a woman acting a sociopath during the metoo hysteria who got her boss fired for accusing him of whatever. Or ISIS taking credit for every Christmas Market massacre. Again, none of this is the point.
The point is we are all having different conversations for different purposes and will never meet well enough to have a productive conversation.
To get you caught up with why men and women can never have a conversation about this, two references.
Jamiee is appealing to a female audience. Generally speaking (and you can reword it so you can disagree while articulating my point to your liking) Is that women write to this as factual relativists e.g. my truth, moral objectivists e.g. They all agree on a singular right and wrong, and character is the entire point of the essay e.g. why our bad faith is the issue.
And if you take those assumptions, she’s not wrong, and I am a complete asshole. But
I’m appealing to a male audience. Men write to this as factual objectivists e.g. just the facts, ma’am. We agree on subjective morality e.g. good for some, bad for others, and the character of individuals doesn’t matter e.g. he’s an asshole but is he wrong?
And if you take those assumptions, I’m not wrong, and she’s playing a Machiavellian game to villainize me to the crowd and get me cancelled or something.
Now that you’re this far in, the disagreements and agreements and my frame of reference (Frame) will make a lot more sense.
I don’t think we have a bad faith problem. I think we have a disinterested solution.
How exactly do you take the Red Pill?
With the increase in what we lovingly call red pilled ass models, or guys who love to get on a podcast and yell at whamen, there’s never been more awareness and less awareness of the red pill at the same time. It’s so bad that when someone would start preaching what they heard from Andrew Tate or Myron Gains to me I would as them a simple question that …
Men, or at least I, don’t have a bad faith problem as men (read the or I from now on) because men aren’t trying to win over women. We are trying to navigate the world as it is. If you clicked through the red pill article above you’ll see the second thing is a book, When I say No, I Feel Guilty, by Manuel Smith. It’s the second most important thing for Red Pill dudes to know, other than Dr. Robert Glover’s No More Mr. Nice Guy.
(Yes.
is number 3 on the list. Sorry fellas)The point is Smith is big on assertiveness. Men have a huge problem asserting themselves, and the Assertive Bill of Rights is a big tool and set of mental models to learn it. The important assertive right in this case is:
You have the right to not care.
And that’s why I’m happy to suggest
She’s a woman in her later 20s, really wants a husband and kids and managed to lock down a rich man, at least for a while. She’s neurotic because he won’t commit and keeps giving her talking points and hurdles. She doesn’t want to lose him, but she doesn’t want him to waste her time either. I wish her luck, because
I don’t care.
If it was my daughter, I would care. If it was my sister, I would care. If it was my mom, I would care. That’s by design. Guys find it very easy to care. Heck, during that Las Vegas shooting, men were diving on top of women they didn’t know, taking bullets for them, for no other reason than they cared. they left behind family, friends, sometimes spouses and girlfriends to sacrifice themselves for strangers.
And every man has that dog in him. And while anyone can pull up a hundred scenarios where it’s great at noble and good, there’s tens of thousands of examples of men having their need to protect women weaponized against them. I’m not going to list them because this isn’t about sympathy or victim Olympics, it’s about navigating.
Because in a world that’s willing to take advantage of a mans good nature, what can he do? Easy. Stop caring about people for whom haven’t earned that gift.
But if I just say ‘don’t care’ everyone nods and agrees and it sounds great. Then they go home and cannot map it to their everyday lives. I see it constantly, a guy will write me a field report suggesting he is no longer a nice guy, or he has Frame, or has finally stopped being a simp or whatever he’s mad about, then in the next sentence does something that shows he has done exactly what he said he doesn’t. So I know you can’t just tell a guy.
But I can give a story that shows it. So when a guy sees ‘does she have agency, or not?’ it’s not meant to dismiss the girl, or shame people into not caring, or prevent any of the thousands of systems in the world that will help her if she wants to.
It’s not for her, it’s not for other women (which is why it’s not bad faith. It’s not for you) it’s for you, dear guy reading this stuff online. Until that point, you never considered you had the option to not care about the worlds problems until some jerk online gave you the option, did you? She painted a perfect story of being the victim, the man being the villain (and to be fair, he’s not making it hard) and leaving the question of what to do about it an open ended one.
But I’m here to say, you don’t have to care. And I answer the question about agency in the affirmative. Yes she has agency. She can get credit cards and stocks and get a job and buy cigarettes and drink all weekend and get abortions and all the good adult stuff. So yeah. Now that she is an adult, what would I say about a guy who was in a situation with a woman stringing him along?
“We’ve been together a year and she said no sex until marriage, but she has slept with 20 guys on the first date before me, how do I fix this?“
You don’t. She’s stringing you along for her benefit and you leave.
“But she’s the hottest woman I’ve ever dated, and she goes to my church and …“
Well, then you’ve made your choice and can live with it.
It’s OK to not care
There’s a great saying, I don’t know who coined it in the red pill.
The worst misogyny coming from the red pill is the audacious and novel idea of treating women as people
So I’m not surprised Jaimee accuses us of a bad faith problem. She’s not wrong. We don’t care. It’s not easy not to care, in fact you have to do a lot of work to stop giving that gift away to everyone. We don’t talk about this stuff with an attention to get women to approve of us. We neither want or need the approval.
If you want me to care, be worth caring for. My wife gets me to care. She’s earned it. My family, my friends, and other authors on Substack and mutuals on Twitter (of which Jamiee is) get me to care. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t have written this piece to articulate our disagreement and show that we can do more than just yell at each other if I didn’t care.
And to show good faith on my end, I’m not defending 50 Shades of Autism. If he knew anything about the red pill he would know better than to start shouting stats and figures at his girlfriend, throwing empty egg cartons at her when she asked for a ring etc.
The first rule of this is you’re not supposed to want validation from others. And the only reason to start rattling off Rational Male articles with your girlfriend is cause you want to manipulate her into thinking what you want her to think. It’s stupid and doesn’t work, and when it doesn’t work things will only get worse.
It’s called a covert contract. If I show her a chart she will act the way I want and have a happy free life — Glover
Except she won’t. She will reject overt manipulation, and the guy will get resentful at her breaking his contract and things go downhill from there. Why the fuck do you think the Married Red Pill exists?
95% of it is getting guys to stop doing dumb shit like this. Not because it’s wrong or evil, but because it doesn’t work, and makes life worse.
And since she’s smart and has agency and is falling for her own covert contract, then any woman worth her weight in salt would tell her to ditch the covert contract and tell him in direct and simple terms, something like,
“I’m not getting any younger. You have X weeks/months to show my I’m not wasting my time, I’m going to stay with my mother for a bit. Call me when you’ve figured it out”
And he will either give her a clear roadmap to a marriage, or he will continue to stall and then she has her answer. Of course, my only critique is that no woman actually does this. they just use the situation as a cudgel to bash men over the head for being villains, commentating in the wrong way, or using it for clout (And I’m not any better)
But that’s fine. I don’t care.
I think we should care about creating a moral climate where stay-at-home girlfriends of four years can’t claim “psychological manipulation” by rich men who won’t propose.
Women either have agency to leave sub-optimal relationships or they don’t. It’s pretty simple for every man and woman to question these sob stories that are platformed as case studies of male cruelty and misbehavior.
"We have a real soul connection," may be some kind of femspeak Chick Code Phrase intended to signal selective application of a moral code that places obligations on a Man.
I'm wondering whether the post makes any sense without repeating this phrase.
There's no shortage of women sharing stories about joyfully being "used" by men with whom they evidently did not share a "real soul connection," but had a great time, Just as there are countless stories from women using men.
There's something about "real soul connection" that is meant to suggest that under these selective circumstances, in this specific context, moral judgments are meant to apply. Maybe that's the invitation for all the GF's to jump on the bandwagon of moral condemnation.